If your period is late, your spirits rise, only to be dashed. You go to the loo every five minutes, looking for blood. You go through these cycles of emotion month after month. You begin to ask yourself what's wrong with you. You feel you have no control over your body or your life. Conception can become an obsession, and you start to feel isolated.

It often comes as a shock when you discover that you can't conceive when you are ready. Most of us take our fertility for granted. A diagnosis of often creates feelings of loss of control and isolation. The emotional responses to are many and varied, and can change over time. It is important to recognise that dealing with is stressful. It may help to see a counselor and discuss coping skills and strategies so that does not "take over" your life.

One way of taking back control is understanding the causes of and what can be done about them. You will then be in a position to find out the options available to you.

If you have not conceived within a year of trying, it is time to see a doctor to discuss and start an investigation. It is important to get the ball rolling promptly because age is one of the factors that can have a negative impact on your fertility. Your chance of becoming pregnant decreases as you age. Basic fertility investigations can be done by a GP, but referral to an specialist should be done sooner rather than later.

Sometimes the problem is simple - making sure that you have intercourse at the time of the month when you are most fertile, or taking a course of tablets to aid ovulation may be all that is needed to conceive. For some couples, however, the attention of a fertility specialist and more invasive treatments, such as In-Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) may be necessary.

Whatever treatment is recommended, it is important that you have a good understanding of how it will impact on you physically, emotionally

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and financially. You also need to have a clear understanding of your chances of success with each treatment, and your alternatives if the proposed treatment does not work.

Having a good relationship with your doctor is essential, and you should expect to be partners in the treatment process. You should be involved in planning your treatment, and you should expect to get support in making informed decisions.

In summary, the keys to surviving are:

1. Taking charge by being well-informed;

2. Being actively involved in decisions about your treatment; and

3. Seeking help when you need it for the stress that comes with infertility.

Again, because getting pregnant is less likely as you get older, if you think you are prepared to pursue treatment, it is best to act sooner rather than later.

But first, make sure you understand how pregnancy happens when there are no problems.